


Our ways of loving (could be wrong but they’re perfect)

by JustMeWriting



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Aromantic Pidge | Katie Holt, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Heartbreak, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Langst, Non-binary Pidge Gunderson, One-Sided Allura/Lance (Voltron), One-Sided Keith/Lance (Voltron), One-sided Lance/Original Character, Original Character(s), Pansexual Lance (Voltron), Polyamorous Character, Polyamorous Lance (Voltron), Unrequited Love, mention of other characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:54:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24045487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustMeWriting/pseuds/JustMeWriting
Summary: “So my way of loving is wrong ? Is that it ?”[…]“If even my way of loving is wrong, what am I supposed to do ? I’ll end up alone. I’ll have friends, hopefully, but I won’t have lovers to take care off and who can take care of me. No one to bring on beach dates, no one to hold hand with, no one to raise children with.”
Comments: 5
Kudos: 23





	Our ways of loving (could be wrong but they’re perfect)

**Author's Note:**

> I found this in my notes ? I probably wanted to write more context, but I think it’s pretty understandable like that so I left it at is. I just touched up a few things - if you see mistakes please tell me !

“ So my way of loving is wrong ? Is that it ? ”

It’s surprised silence that welcomes his answer, and before anyone can open their mouth, Lance continues. 

“ But I can’t help it. I can’t control what I feel. I can’t help but fall hard and quick, and then not be able to get over it for months or years. I can’t help the fluster of my heart when I see beautiful people. I can’t control these things. And it’s how I’ve always functioned. I don’t know any other ways of- of loving, like that. ”

“ If even my way of loving is wrong, what am I supposed to do ? I’ll end up alone. I’ll have friends, hopefully, but I won’t have lovers to take care off and who can take care of me. No one to bring on beach dates, no one to hold hand with, no one to raise children with. ”

“ This isn’t what I meant, Lance ! ”

Keith’s voice is agitated but the blue Paladin can’t help the hurt that bloom in his chest when he remembers what that same voice said a few days ago. The context is different, and the way he says it isn’t the same, but the pain is similar. It starts in his heart, hugs his chest, settles down behind his eyes. 

“ I’ve fallen in love three times since we’ve been here. And it took me getting lunched into space, so, so far from my blood family and  everything I knew and getting put into a 10, 000 fucking galactic war to find the confidence to ask them out. No, I didn’t even ask them out, I just said what I felt. All three times. I didn’t want anything in return -scratch that, actually, I’ve always wanted something in return- but all I got was pity looks and  _sorrys_ I hate to hear. The first heartbreak was eons ago. And it still hurts. It’s duller now, buy it still hurts and so do the others two. I don’t get over it. It’s too soon I- It took me four years to get over my first heartbreak. Four years. And I was eight years old. It should have been nothing, should have lasted a month at most, if what other people say are true. What am I supposed to do ? How else am I supposed to be, if it’s all I’ve ever known ? “

The room is silent, and it rings loudly into Lance’s brain until Pidge speaks up. Their voice is hesitant and small, so unusual from them. 

“ I’m aromantic. I’ve never- never fallen in love. I love things, like robotics and you guys and my family, but I’ve never loved anyone romantically. Sometimes I feel like it’s wrong. I know society is stupid and I’m normal, but I used to invent crushes because Matt wouldn’t believe me when I said I didn’t have any. I like being the Green Paladin, because it reminds me of the flag, and sometimes I- I wear the armor and I feel like an undercover spy and it makes me proud even if I’m the only one who knows what green means to me. So my way of loving should be wrong, too. But I know it isn’t. It can’t be wrong, if it’s how I am, because I’m not wrong. And you- you aren’t either. “

Hunk is the closest to Pidge. He leans their way, wait for their nod and hugs them for a few seconds. Lance feels himself smile. He can love multiple people of a hundred gender at the same time, and Pidge can never have a lover, and they’re both good and human. Opposite, maybe, or maybe there’s no such thing as that because people’s ways of loving is just a big sea with no start and no end. Lance jumps from his place to worm his way on the other side of Pidge, and they high five. There’s an understanding when their eyes meet, the kind of look people who lived through similar experiences share. Loving too much and not loving enough aren’t too different from each other, after all.

Keith sits back down slowly. He waits until the others are settled before talking. 

“ Sorry. What I said was really not... good. I didn’t mean it like that. ”

Lance waits until his leader lifts his head up. The Blue Paladin knows his eyes are too soft and too loving, and his chest still hurts from a too fresh “ _We wouldn’t work_ ”  whispered into the night, but he smiles and accepts the apology. They watch movies together and no one makes fun of Lance’s crush on Allura (it’s his first heartbreak in space. She’s still breathtakingly beautiful and sometimes he dreams of her hair in the wind and her hands in his.). They don’t talk about the other people he loved, but Lance thinks about them anyway. A Prince from a planet he barely remembers the name of, blue skin and silver hair, and a teammate he could be best friend with. He dreams of blues and purples, mixes of colors from people he knows but can’t ever love. 

He’ll get over it. 

His way of loving won’t change, though. 

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think ? I’m sorry for hurting my baby once again 😔 angst no comfort (the end isn’t so bad, though, right ? I like hopeful ends, where we see things can get better)
> 
> We all have a different way of loving. Some don’t, some do, in every form of love that exist. And every way of loving, or not loving, is good, if it’s healthy.


End file.
